Interview With Joyce Shafer, Author Of "I Don't Want To Be Your Guru, But I Have Something To Say"

Interview With Joyce Shafer, Author Of "I Don't Want To Be Your Guru, But I Have Something To Say"

Joyce Shafer is a life coach and a weekly columnist for United Press International’s Religion and Spirituality Forum. She is also usually published at VisionsMetro, Success.com, iPec’s iNspire Newsletter (Institute for pro Empowerment Coaching), Selfgrowth.com, and Potential2Success. Also her book “I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, but I Have Something to Say,” she has a second book available, “How to Have What You in fact Want: An Easy Guide That Can Take You to the Next Level in Every Area of Your Life.” Joyce also contributed to the content and editing of Leeya Brooke Thompson’s 2006 book “The Wisdom of Sound and Number: Phonetic Chaldean Numerology—Reclaiming an aged Oracle.”

Tyler: Thank you for joining me, today, Joyce. I understand “I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, but I Have Something to Say” has been compared to such fables as “Jonathan Livingston Seagull” and “The tiny Prince.” To begin, how would you best define your book and will you tell us a tiny bit about the frame or structure of the book?

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Joyce: Thank you, Tyler. It’s my delight to have this opportunity. “Guru” presents non-fiction, that is, real-life matters in a fictional format so that readers are invited to “overhear” a conversation and give the content notice as opposed to being told “This is the way.” One humorous note about this format is that when person wants to categorize it and asks, “Is it fiction or non-fiction?”—my write back is Yes.

When we gawk something and allow our inner truth about it to emerge—what is appropriate for us—it has far more meaning for us as individuals. This process allows us to join what we learn about ourselves into our day-to-day lives. Doing so can originate a stronger foundation to manage our lives rather than let our lives manage us. It’s true Self empowerment. It takes “To thine own self be true” to the next level, which is in fact the purpose of the book.

Tyler: Joyce, how did you come up with the idea to write “I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, but I Have Something to Say?”

Joyce: First, I want to say the title came to me while having dinner with a friend. He asked me what it was that I wanted to achieve and I responded, “I don’t want to be anyone’s guru, but I do have something to say.” The Why is that I’ve all the time been something of a philosophical and practical interpreter of behaviors and dynamics—those of others, but especially of my own. All things is cause and effect, selection and outcome. I had one of those moments where I contemplated something I observed and the plan occurred that a book that touched on this process might be good to share. And, I wanted it to be reader-friendly so it flowed for readers. I wanted to avoid sounding scholastic or cause readers to have a “Huh?” bubble hovering in their minds about what was being said.

Over a two-year period, I made various attempts to get the book started. There was so much I wanted to include, but to arrive at how to found and present it was a challenge. I finally got frustrated and decided that until I knew exactly how to do this, I wouldn’t give it other thought.

Two months went by before I woke one morning and knew what the format had to be. Due to my schedule, my writing time was tiny to the first 30 to 45 minutes after waking on weekdays. I also was inclined at that time, to write it long-hand into a notebook. It arrived pretty much as it is over a two-month period, meaning I didn’t edit the story, edits were matters of punctuation.

Tyler: Our reviewer at Reader Views, Narissa Johnson, commented that the character A.J. Could be a male or female. Would you give us a tiny understanding into what A.J. Represents. Do those initials mean anything?

Joyce: The names of the characters emerged as the content did; though I realized when A.J. Appeared, that I should leave gender non-specific so readers could assign it for themselves. My plan was that readers might see themselves straight through A.J.’s eyes, so no pronoun ever appears in the book about that character. Initially, it was a source of curiosity and amusement for me to ask readers what gender they believe A.J. To be, and they had interesting reasons why A.J. Was female or male. A.J. Represents us as beings who sometimes move straight through life too fast or even sometimes as sleepwalkers, rather than participants in our own inner and outer journeys, as well as those whose deeper innate plan processes can be stimulated.

A funny thing about Bill was that when he arrived and started to speak, he looked and sounded like the actor Robert Duvall. I suppose many authors envision their books becoming movies, especially now that venues such as Spiritual Cinema Circle and Indies exist; but I was surprised when this happened. However, if whatever could carry the allowable vocal inflection and twinkle of the eyes of Bill, Duvall could.

Tyler: I also understand this is a new edition of the book. What has changed from the previous edition, and why did you feel a need for a new edition?

Joyce: The changes were unrelated to the content. What started the new edition process was I determined entering “Guru” in a competition and saw that the cover was part of the evaluation. The customary cover was generic and functional, but I knew it would advantage from a facelift. I’m delighted with this new one since apples are included in the story. I changed my mind about entering the competition because it became confident that Point A didn’t lead to Point B, it led to Point C. My mantra is, “Commit, but be flexible.” Pricing was also a notice and customary motivator for the new edition. A global distribution situation created an automatic price hike for the customary version and I wasn’t able to convert that. The new edition allowed me to put the price of print copies and downloads to ones I felt were more appropriate.

Tyler: That’s all in fact interesting, Joyce. First of all, let me say I love the cover and laughed when I saw how it fit the story so perfectly. But I’m curious in what you say about pricing. Authors often feel like a book is a blessing and a curse—you love your story and want the world to enjoy your book, but at the same time, you have to be just that the book will sell without losing your shirt, so to speak. Do you have any guidance for writers about the financial aspect of the business? Especially in your case, where your book’s goal is more spiritual, how do you balance the material side of being a writer?

Joyce: The first thing I want to propose to authors is that they check out the various Print-On-Demand services ready online. The publishing world has changed dramatically in the last several decades. Thankfully, because of the electronic age and those who recognized a needed assistance and created a way to furnish it, new authors can find budget-friendly ways to get into print in a very short amount of time and avoid years of rejection letters that may or may not have whatever to do with book quality, as well as avoid an introductory cash layout and boxes of books taking up space.

Second, it’s easy to forget that money is a artificial plan that represents an replacement of vigor for a stock or service. Habitancy agree to such an replacement if they realize there is value to having a singular something in their lives either it serves them short- or long-term. Habitancy complex in more spiritually-based endeavors hesitate to properly value what they offer because there’s an intangible potential present even if something tangible is provided. Yet in reality, this is true about every purchase. person who sells a stock is able to factor in cost of materials and labor to arrive at a selling price. It isn’t feasible for an author to factor in schooling costs that come from higher learning, books, workshops, life experiences, hours of contemplation, or writing and editing time and dollars complex in creating a book from plan to print form. But if a book changes a person’s life for the better, even to a small degree, what price do you put on that? What value? It’s priceless—to the person and the author. Undervaluing ourselves and what we offer does not empower us, others, or the group we are all a part of. In fact, it weakens us. However, I add that in confident situations that feel appropriate to me, I give the book away.

The topic of denying or limiting plentifulness in our lives, whatever that looks like to us as individuals, is an entire dialogue on its own. Nothing about the universe we live in stipulates lack or limitation is the way. We make such a decision on our own. We can seek a point of balance; and, everyone’s point of balance is different and changes with time.

Tyler: Thanks for that explanation, Joyce. I think it's true that money can't all the time be the dominant concern. Many authors rule to publish, either profitable or not, because it's more prominent for them to share their story with others. I understand part of the part of the book focuses on how we view ourselves. Would you give us an example of such a lesson?

Joyce: One example is that much dialogue came about about how to heal or address the inner child, or as Carolyn Myss once referred to it, the inner brat. Phrases are used to say we are the children of the Universe or other wording to the same effect. One segment in “Guru” poses the question, What if considering ourselves children is part of the qoute in our lives and world today? What might happen if we reconsider ourselves responsible adults instead? How might we behave differently about our private and global experiences?

Tyler: In relation to viewing ourselves as adults, I was struck by the tube on page 25 where you said, “I’m not sayin that person who’s had something negative happen doesn’t deserve compassion and whatever help can be given. What I’m sayin is some folks get stuck” and you go on to say we have to accept things are over and it is past tense. I think a lot of Habitancy use therapy today to ask others to look at all the terrible things that happened in their childhood so they deserve sympathy. How does person like that move from feeling sorry for himself to behaving like a responsible adult?

Joyce: First, to borrow again from Carolyn Myss since she said it perfectly, when we lead with our wounds we, in fact, edify others as to how we’ll manipulate situations and Habitancy in our lives. When we lead with our wounds, we position ourselves as victims with no or tiny personal power to move the self from that stuck place and often believe others need to do whatever we ask of them so we can feel better. This places accountability for our feeling good about ourselves on others rather than where it belongs—inside us. When we do this, who holds the power?

Therapy is sometimes needed, depending on what the situation or condition is. What I appreciate about life coaching is that you may touch on past events for the purpose of getting a bit of information, but you never let a client stay there—because it isn’t happening in the present. The only thing happening in the present is the person’s perceptions about the past. Dragging the past behind us is like dragging heavy boulders. We move forward much faster if we put that load down, compare where we are, and choose where we want to go now. Or as Bruce D. Schneider, Ph.D. And founder of iPec coined, “Where do we grow from here?” We do at times need to be self-nurturing or nurtured by others when something emotionally or physically painful happens; but if we move into self-pity, nothing changes—at least nothing that leads to confident outcomes. There’s a excellent phrase for this: “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” We suffer when we resist what is rather than find a way to move forward. Locking into self-pity leaves us unable to properly respond, which is the root of what being responsible is about. We may not be able to convert All things about our lives, but we can convert our attitudes. When we truly grasp that what we focus on attracts more of the same to us, we would, hopefully, be more mindful about this.

Tyler: Joyce, would you tell our readers a tiny bit about how being a life coach may have influenced your book?

Joyce: Actually, the customary version was published about a year prior to my training as a life coach. Since I also function as editor for the Dr. Bill’s condition and Wellness Series, my time doesn’t currently consist of life coach clients. The degree I’m complex in coaching at this time is that my coach and I coach each other. Of course, life offers many opportunities to act as a coach. Many. However, one thing is true about trained coaches—they were all the time a coach in one fashion or another; so, you could in fact say my life as an untrained coach did sway the content.

What the training directly affected was “How to Have What You in fact Want,” which I created over ten years ago for a workshop I conducted. After the training, and a decade of further life experiences, I modified it and realized it could in fact be offered as a book for Habitancy who want to look at their lives in a way they, perhaps, never have. It also deals with the plan of what it is we in fact want, which we usually believe to be something other than what that finally is. This new book is an excellent companion to “Guru,” which would be useful to read first so confident thoughts are stimulated, though it’s not in fact requisite to do so. Each book is a “stand-alone.” The underlying theme of both books is that right answers are great, but the potential to ask ourselves the right questions is even more empowering.

Tyler: Joyce, how do you feel your book stands out from all the self-help books on the store today?

Joyce: One reader who posted a recapitulate at the customary seller’s site said it best: It doesn’t preach or direct, it invites contemplation. Habitancy evolve at their own paces and I honor that. And, I understand that individuals best know what is appropriate for them. Also, the book consolidates quite a bit into a small space rather than pages and pages or volumes. It’s succinct.

Tyler: I would agree with that. I’ve heard several of the ideas you express before in books ranging from Buddhism to part physics, but I felt your book was easy to read. I want to go back to the starting when you said the format came to you after you did nothing for two months. The book is written as a dialogue between Bill and A.J. And in that way, it is both very contemporary and as you said earlier, reader-friendly, while also recalling classical dialogues, like Plato’s. But what I in fact liked was that it took place in a diner while eating apple pie. Why did you rule on that setting, or if it “just came” to you, what do you feel makes that setting prosperous for achieving the book’s overall goals?

Joyce: Yes, many of the concepts in the book are well-known because they are as old as we are. Sometimes, we grasp an idea as a matter of hearing it stated differently or looking it worded in a way that allows us to understand how it relates to us directly. Timing can play a role, as well. We may have been aware of the dots, but a pivotal occasion occurs to join together them and we see a bigger picture.

The setting did just come to me, as did the dialogue. Every word flowed straight through the pen to the paper so fast, it was sometimes a challenge to keep up. I learned from that touch and now use my computer. I fantasize the reason a diner presented itself is because nearly everybody relaxes when they sit down in such a setting. It’s far more casual than, say, a four-star restaurant. considering the location where the story takes place, it’s also more realistic. Most of us enjoy a diner touch since it’s conducive to conversation—the one we engage in and those we overhear. We love to linger over a meal or coffee and interesting, stimulating conversation.

Tyler: The book is a very slim volume of 54 pages. Do you envision Habitancy reading it in one sitting, or reading a tiny bit each day What do you think is the best way for the reader to apply its lessons?

Joyce: I love learning how they chose to read it, either in one sitting or in several. It’s in fact about what works best for them. And because of its size, many read it more than once. Quite a few Habitancy have shared that nearly every page is written on as thoughts occur to them while reading the book. One of the most affirming comments I’ve received from many readers is that a great deal is ended in just 54 pages.

Since the facility of the book is to inspire consideration, my hope is that readers apply what’s offered in ways that are appropriate for them, straight through actions that come from head and heart alignment about singular matters. This alignment is more often than not, the effect of inner reflection and determining how to make feelings, beliefs, and personal truths congruent with outer actions—how we live in the world. If we look around, we notice a great deal of challenges and conflicts stem from incongruities.

Tyler: For readers who haven’t read the book, could you give us an example of such a challenge or disagreement that stems from an incongruity, so they can best understand what you are trying to achieve?

Joyce: We’re not all the time aware that what we criticize exists in us, or once did, on some level. As an example, years back, I visited a psychic fair where members of one of the stricter religions picketed outside. The coordinator of the fair said to me, “I cannot tolerate intolerant people,” then walked away, oblivious to what he’d just said.

We could advance this a bit and say if he had paused to reconsider his own level of tolerance, he might have had a easy fleeting plan about the picketers like, “How interesting,” then let it go. Had the picketers felt tolerant, they may have noticed some discomfort and gathered to meditate on the wish that they and everybody attending the fair linked to their spirituality in a meaningful way. We might achieve best outcomes in such situations if we admit we don’t all the time feel tolerant. Certainly, abuse of any kind should not be tolerated; but we can’t impose tolerance. We can only re-evaluate it and our connection to it on a consistent basis.

We criticize when we feel restricted. What usually happens in such cases is that instead of placing focus on why we feel restricted and what we can do to effect a effective convert within ourselves—even if that means we move on or away—we focus on what’s wrong with the others and on how we can make them behave in ways that make us feel better. We’re all mirrors for each other. Incongruities occur when we fail to notice that what we don’t like in other is a reflection of something we don’t like or want to deny it exists within us. We’re not homogenous, nor will we ever be; but, we can choose to rule what is appropriate for us to come to be our best selves and allow others to tour their own path, giving them the same respect we desire. And, we have to rule the balance point within society for such respect and tolerance, though it’s an ongoing see-saw type of experience. Incongruity appears when we believe there should only be one way and that everybody should agree on it. That’s unrealistic when we reconsider nearly seven billion individuals are having private experiences on the planet at one time.

A first plan about this for some may be, What about extremists? If you reconsider the overall Habitancy of the planet, extremists are the minority despite what news reports suggest. The majority of us just want to live a life of purpose and feel fulfilled about our experiences. If we think for ourselves and don’t agree to be incited to different behavior, we are basically kind-hearted as a whole.

Tyler: Thank you, Joyce, I think that’s well said, and I think your book will help Habitancy understand this better. Thank you so much for joining us today, Joyce. Would you let our readers know your web site address and how they can find out more data about “I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, but I Have Something to Say”?

Joyce: Thank you, Tyler. The website is [http://www.joyceshafer.com]. Habitancy curious in what others have to say about their touch of reading “Guru” can go to http://www.lulu.com and read the reviews. Their comments have more worth and impact than whatever I might add about the book at this time.

Tyler: And finally, do you have whatever else to say before we release you from your guru position here?

Joyce: I’m smiling at you since, of course, the whole idea is that I’m not a guru nor aspire to be one. I just want to be mindful in my own life, as much as possible. If such attention to my life assists others to do the same for themselves, that’s what finally matters.

I did have one reader email an inquiry about why he should listen to whatever I had to say in the book. I responded that he shouldn’t, that the point of the book was for him to listen to himself, but possibly listen with “different” ears. other shared that tears streamed down his face as he read it because it touched many inner issues at a deep level. One reader asked for my apple pie recipe.

Some interesting things happened since the first version came out, events that I did not initiate. One reader sent a copy to a head librarian which resulted in the Brooklyn group Library’s board voting to consist of “Guru” on their shelves and in their computerized catalog. I’m still not confident how this happened, but an club formed in Manhattan to help those affected by 9/11, used it for their book-of-the-month argument the same year the customary was published. And, a person who retired from the forces and decided to function as a coach to help others retiring and returning to civilian life, gives a copy to each of her clients. On nearly a daily basis, I get a surprise or gift, if you will, by learning how this tiny book makes a big discrepancy in someone’s life. Such moments are affirming for me as the writer of this book; but, to be of such assistance to a fellow being... Words I might use to express this would diminish how this feels.

One thing became immediately apparent: This book has a life of its own—beyond what even I imagined.

Tyler: I can in fact believe that, Joyce, and I hope it continues to touch many lives. Good luck to you and to the life of “I Don’t Want to Be Your Guru, but I have Something to Say.”

Joyce: Thank you, Tyler. I wish you, and everyone, a spectacular, life and a life filled with wonders.

Lulu.com (2007)

Isbn 9781430314110

Reviewed by Narissa Johnson for Reader Views (6/07)

Interview With Joyce Shafer, Author Of "I Don't Want To Be Your Guru, But I Have Something To Say"

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